God, Where Are You?
Psalm 77
4 “You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak.”
8 “Has his steadfast love forever ceased?” “Are his promises at an end for all time?”
9 “Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?”
Wow. Just wow. As you read these words, I’m sure a lot of feelings crept over your mind. How can the writer be so troubled that he begins doubting the Lord in these ways? How can he use these presumptuous assumptions against the almighty God? Most importantly… How did he get to this place of emotional turmoil?
As hard as this scripture can be to read, I have found that it might even be harder to write about. Why is this, you may ask? Well for the same reason I found myself wanting to skim over these verses in my Bible is the same reason I find myself wanting to put my pen down and close my journal… I can relate to the writer. These negative, doubting thoughts that question God’s goodness are thoughts that have, unfortunately, crossed my mind at one point too.
Now I’m going to ask you to be vulnerable, but the good news is that the only person you have to share with is yourself, and the Lord of course. Have you ever experienced something that has made you relate to the writer? Something terrible, tragic, something you never saw coming, or maybe something that was happening right in front of you the whole time, but you lost all control before you could stop it? The writer describes his experience as being “so troubled I cannot speak.” I’m sure, if you’re still reading this, you’ve felt this way at some point in your life. Something happened that made you question it all. You began doubting the Lord and wondering where he was. Wondering if he still considers you his precious child. Wondering if he’s still there, or if he ever was. I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone and there has never been a time that he has left your side.
I know me telling you that doesn’t solve your problems or quiet your questioning mind, but it does give you a sense of comfort knowing those eerie, unwanted thoughts don’t just camp out in your brain. Although this scripture has called out the most vulnerable parts of me, it also comforts those parts of me. Check out the way the writer starts out the chapter. Verse 1 states “I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me.” Wow. So, we know the writer is a believer and he is still having these thoughts, again you’re not alone. But this does lead to my next point.
Sometimes as believers we put on this façade that everything is okay, and we put this unnecessary pressure on ourselves to live a perfect life without any struggle. But we are lying to ourselves, Jesus even tells us: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33). So why do we feel like we can’t have these thoughts, let alone share them with others? I have an idea of why this is, but let’s see if you can relate.
When struggle comes it leads us to doubting. Doubting ourselves and then doubting God. First of all, to doubt ourselves means admitting that somewhere we could be wrong, and who likes to do that? Then comes doubting the Lord… and that is something we fear even more than doubting ourselves. In the midst of this doubting, we are made to feel alone. We don’t share our struggles with others for fear of, you name it. Then when we doubt the Lord, we can feel like he is no longer on our side because how could our God do something that hurts us? Well, he wouldn’t. His heart breaks right alongside us. Insert the enemy. The enemy loves this because not only does he want to make you doubt God, he makes you feel alone and doubt yourself in the process… what a manipulative schemer.
Time to move on to my favorite part of this chapter. Verses 11-14 “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples.”
This response is everything. During his struggling, he doesn’t decide to let the enemy win, no, he praises the Lord’s goodness and faithfulness. He sets his mind on the Lord and gives him the power back. You see, you have a choice to make. When the enemy comes, and he will, he will bring struggle and loneliness along with him. This will look different to everyone, but his plan is the same, to destroy your relationship with God. You can choose to struggle alone, or you can choose to let the Lord take your struggles and have victory. I know this is a lot easier said than done but trust me we aren’t meant to fight our battles alone. You have a protector, and he is always there, call on him because he WILL hear you.
“I cry aloud to God, aloud to God and he will hear me. In the day of trouble I seek the Lord” (Psalm 77:1-2). He WILL hear you. He DOES hear YOU. How cool that of all the 8 billion voices in the world he hears YOURS. He seeks YOU out and hears YOUR cries. He finds YOU where YOU are and wants to listen. He desires to know YOU. Lay YOUR burdens down and cry out to the one who WILL listen and is always near to YOU.
