The Lord’s Faithless Bride

The Lord’s Faithless Bride

(Based on Ezekiel 16)

Just as a bride seeks a groom, here I stand and wait for you.

While you have waited on this day for oh so long, what you don’t realize is that I have been here all along.

On the day you were born you were left abandoned, all alone. “No eye pitied you” (Ezekiel 16:5). You were left to manage on your own.

But I heard your cry, I heard the sounds of my child left to die.

Quickly I came and saw you wallowing in your own blood,

I spoke the words “LIVE” and therefore, it was done (Ezekiel 16:6)

I watched as you grew tall, and I made sure you lacked nothing at all

Your hair had grown, and you developed quickly, but on the inside your remained naked and empty (16:7)

I covered you with my garment and made a vow to you that you were mine,

I said to you “I am your God, and I will always provide”

I bathed you with water and anointed you in oil

I made you clean and brand new.

Daughter, there was no single flaw in you.

You were beautiful and perfect in my eyes , all because of your obedience to abide.

Everything was perfect and wonderful in my eyes,

but to you, my gifts were not enough to suffice

You trusted in your beauty and used it for your selfish ways,

you sought out your own desires and laid mine to waste. (16:15)

It wasn’t long until the world recognized your beauty as well,

you quickly became an idol and were being compelled.

They told you what you wanted to hear, you sought out their evil ways,

and all the things I had given you, you used them in the worldly race.

You gave up everything that was important to you, everything that mattered

There was nothing I could say to you, you had forgotten about me, your groom, and I was left shattered

Your sinfulness grew as you sought out more evil.

And when I found you in the same bed as your enemies, you began an upheaval.

I cried out “How sick is your heart? (16:30)” You took everything that I gave you and tore it apart

Now you are left with your sin and your idols, you are left with your guilt and unsatisfaction

Where will you turn, where will you go? You have no plan of action.

Child, you have forgotten about me. You have forgotten and have chosen a different way.

You have become mesmerized by those around you but see the sin that they live in every day.

Still, you chose the latter. You chose what you thought matters.

Beauty, idols, and the world. You chose all of these things and gained... what?

Maybe you thought doing things your way would lead you to a shortcut.

But child, I am here to tell you that I am jealous. I am jealous of the love you so freely give out.

I watch as your heart is so easily pulled about.

You may have forgotten what I have done for you and the covenant we made so long ago,

But this is what you must know...

I have not forgotten about you.

There is not a day that has gone by where I have not cried a tear or two.

You are my beloved daughter, you are my bride,

I cry out every day, “Please turn your face towards me, may you no longer hide.”

I know the sin you carry and the shame that eats at you

May you follow that nudge, that feeling in your heart, you know what it’s calling you to do.

Please daughter cry out to me, and then you will see. You are beautiful and perfect in my eyes.

Remember there is no flaw in you, with me there is nothing you need to disguise.

Let go of the world and the pressure you feel, to be perfect and the need to always conceal.

Your heart needs healing, your soul needs reviving.

Can’t you see? I am the one who can do the providing.

Here I will stand and wait for you, as a groom waits for his bride.

I will never stop seeking after you, for you are the one who is always on my mind.

Daughter, I promise you I will wait, and whenever you are ready, all you have to do is say my name.

And there I will be, no matter the time or the place.

In Ezekiel 16, God compares this faithless bride to his people, Israel. He says that Israel is a nation that was forgotten and left to die. The Lord came in and saved them and gave them everything they needed to survive. He even created them to be beautiful and “advanced them to royalty.” He clothed them in silver and gold and fed them with flour, oil, and honey. They were given everything they needed to flourish. They then used the Lord’s gifts for their own desires and turned away from him. They sought after their own idols and became a very rebellious people. They acted in their own ways and were “unsatisfied.” They forgot about the Lord and all the things he had done for them. They forgot, but he never did. He tried reminding them time and time again to turn from their evil ways. At the end of the day, he was a faithful groom waiting for his faithless bride.

It is important to note that in the Old Testament, God was angry with Israel when they do not remember him. He says “So I will satisfy my wrath with you, and my jealousy shall depart from you. I will be calm and will no more be angry. Because you have not remembered the days of your youth, but have enraged me with all of these things, therefore, behold, I have returned your deeds upon your head, declares the Lord God.” (Ezekiel 16:42-43)

The Lord is angry and is ready to punish Israel for the ways they have forgotten him and have chosen their own ways. They chose sin, idolatry, and their own desires. They used the gifts the Lord had given them for their own selfish ways and now God is making them pay.

God ends the chapter with describing his everlasting covenant. “For thus says the Lord God: I will deal with you as you have done, you who have despised the oath in breaking the covenant, yet I will remember my covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish for you an everlasting covenant.”

God is saying that he is still going to do good to this rebellious people, so they may open their eyes and see the ways they have acted in evil. God says, “you will remember your ways and be ashamed.” They will see his goodness, but they will still feel shame for their sin so that they may know they did wrong. Also, while the people forgot about God, he did not forget his covenant with them, grace.

There is an important difference to note from the people of Israel and us today. The people of Israel did not have Jesus to bear their sins for them. Therefore, they carried the weight and shame of their own sins for the things they have done. Because of Jesus, we do not have to feel shame or guilt. We are free of these chains, and we can walk in freedom knowing that salvation is found in Christ alone.

When Words Matter Most

Ezekiel’s Call

And he said to me, “Son of man, stand on your feet, and I will speak with you.” And he spoke to me, the Spirit entered into me and set me on my feet, and I heard him speaking to me. And he said to me, “Son of man, I send you to the people of Israel, to nations of rebels, who have rebelled against me... I send you to them, and you shall say to them,” Thus says the Lord God.” Ezekiel 2:1-5

Ezekiel was a prophet of God. He was called on by God to go speak to the nation of Israel (“A rebellious nation”) in order to speak hope for the future and to teach Israel how to turn from their rebellious ways. God chose him to be the one to teach the people new life that can only be found in God himself.

Have you ever experienced anything like this? Have you ever been called to do something or say something that made you question, “Why me?”? Ezekiel was just a priest living in Babylon until one day the Lord calls upon him to change the hearts of the rebellious people around him. The same rebellious people who took him captive during the destruction of Jerusalem (the place where he grew up). Ezekiel was living among people who lived vastly different than him. Unlike Ezekiel, the people around him walked in evil instead of truth, they walked in selfishness instead of selflessness, they walked in their own ways instead of the way of the Lord. He was surrounded by people who judged his way, who turned their nose up to people like him. Now, he was called to be the one to spread the word of God.

Can you relate?

“And you, son of man, be not afraid of them, nor be afraid of their words, though briers and thorns are with you and you sit on scorpions. Be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, for they are a rebellious house. And you shall speak my words to them, whether they hear or refuse to hear, for they are a rebellious house.” Ezekiel 2:6-7

Before the Lord sends Ezekiel, he first warns him “Do not be afraid of them.” He warns that their rejection might sting just as a thorn or scorpion, but fear of rejection should not keep him from doing what the Lord has called him to do. How true is this?

Words have a way of holding so much power if we let them, and they also can cut so deep. I have heard this phrase “Hurt people hurt people” and it cannot be more true. The Lord knew these people were hurting, hurting bad, and he warned Ezekiel to not let their hurt begin to hurt him. Ezekiel is called to speak Gods words to them, and from there, it is up to the receiver to choose if they will hear them.

“But you, son of man, hear what I say to you. Be not rebellious like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I gave you.” And when I looked, behold, a hand was stretched out to me, and behold, a scroll of a book was in it. Ezekiel 2:8-9

And he said to me, “Son of man, eat whatever you find here. Eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel” ...” Son of man, feed your belly with this scroll that I give you and fill your stomach with it.” Then I ate it, and it was in my mouth as sweet as honey. - Ezekiel 3:1-3

The Lord hands Ezekiel a scroll that included a book of everything that he would need when going to speak to the house of Israel. Instead of simply reading the scroll, he “ate” it. The Lord even went as far as to say, “feed your belly, fill your stomach with it.” It’s important to note that God isn’t physically calling Ezekiel to actually rip out the pages and start eating the book. No, God is asking Ezekiel to fill himself up on his words so that they may become part of himself. Therefore, when Ezekiel goes to open his mouth to speak, it’s not his words that come out but, instead, the truth of the Lords.

I believe this is how the Lord wants us to use our Bibles today. The Bible is living and breathing. Filling ourselves up on the only source of truth is pertinent to living a life in step with the Lord and bringing others along with us. We can’t pour out of an empty cup, nor can we drink unclean water. The Bible has everything we need to fill up and to pour out the way the Lord intended us to. And when we digest the word, we experience the sweetest filling we could ever imagine “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” -Psalm 119:103

And he said to me, “Son of man, go to the house of Israel and speak with my words to them. For you are not sent to a people of foreign speech and a hard language, but to the house of Israel - not to many peoples of foreign speech and hard language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely, if I sent you to such, they would listen to you. But the house of Israel will not be willing to listen to you, for they are not willing to listen to me: because all the house of Israel have a hard forehead and a stubborn heart. Behold, I have made your face as hard as their faces, and your forehead as hard as their foreheads. Like emery harder than flint have I made your forehead.” - Ezekiel 3:4-9

The Lord tells Ezekiel that these rebellious people will be harder to talk to than people of foreign language since they have a hard head and a stubborn heart. They are unwilling to listen, whereas, when communicating with someone in a foreign language there is an attempt to understand. Ezekiel was sent to speak to the lost sheep, people who did believe the truth that he walked in. Therefore, Ezekiel was given extra strength from the Lord. Although Israel was strong in their rebellion, Ezekiel was stronger in his commitment to the Lord.

God saw the ways in which Ezekiel lacked when being called to speak to the house of Israel. He knew the task was a lot to ask of the man, but he did not send him out unequipped. The Lord gave him the scroll to fill his belly as well as the physical strength to his head in order to speak to the people. The Lord warned Ezekiel that it would not be easy, and that trials would come, but he equipped him for his purpose. Just as he does for you and me.

“Fear them not, nor be dismayed at their looks, for they are a rebellious house.” 3:9 “And go to the exiles, to your people, and speak to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God,’ whether they hear or refuse to hear.” 3:11

Just as Ezekiel is being sent out to go share the word of the Lord, he is reminded once more just how rebellious the people are. God reminds Ezekiel one last time “Do not fear them, nor be dismayed by their looks”. This just goes to show how powerful judgement can be, even if it comes across as a look. The Lord reminds Ezekiel that it is HIS word that is to be spoken, not Ezekiel's. Therefore, whether they hear or refuse, they are either receiving or further rejecting the Lord. Ezekiel is not to take it personally but is to continue living out his purpose of speaking God’s word to the people.

Ultimately that is what God is calling us to do. I don’t know about you, but I’m a people pleaser myself. So, the thought of someone not liking me or the thought of me offending someone with my words is terrifying. But, when it comes to speaking about the Lord, I pray for strength and boldness that was given to Ezekiel. This scripture is a good reminder that God does not call the equipped, he equips the called. We do not need to fear judgement from one another, we do not need to fear if we are liked. The only thing we have to fear is the Lord himself. So go out and walk in strength and courage just as Ezekiel. Go out and spread the good news of the Lord. If you are waiting for the right time, it’s now. Sometimes the words that matter most are the words that don’t want to be heard.

Jesus is Coming

Luke 12:40

“You also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.”

I don’t know about you, but when I read these words, an emotional reaction starts taking over my body. I get overwhelmed with this feeling of uneasiness while also being comforted all at the same time. It’s a rather strange feeling and I don’t allow myself to sit in it for too long because of how uncomfortable it makes me. So, instead of sitting with these words and the feelings they stir up within me, I instead flee. But why? Why do these words cause such a reaction within me?

For starters it’s hard to fathom Jesus’ return. We as humans have a hard time processing some things about Jesus’ promises, especially the promise of eternity. I have wrestled with why this is the case, but when it comes to Jesus some things are simply too good to fathom. Think about that for a second. Jesus made us, meaning he created our brains and our thought process. So, he could have created us to understand everything about him, but we are unable to. We are left to wonder and imagine, but never being able to fully comprehend just how wonderful eternity in heaven will be… how cool is our God!!

Another aspect of why this scripture sends me running, is because of its brutal honesty. “You must be ready.” God is telling us we must be ready; we must be on guard for our savior is coming!! Praise the Lord, right? This is the time we have all been waiting for. We have lived our lives waiting for this moment. The moment Jesus will come down and we will be taken from this world to spend eternity with him. This is the moment we have been living for…

But have we? Are we living our lives on guard for the return of Jesus? God is basically telling us “Whether or not you are ready, he is coming.” For some reason when I think of Jesus’ return, I think of a wedding. (Maybe because Jesus is referred to as the bridegroom waiting for his bride, or maybe because in a wedding you spend so much time prepping and planning for what is said to be known as the best day of your life.) While it will be the best day of our lives, the difference here is that there is no time for planning. God doesn’t say “you must start your planning for this is the date Jesus is coming.” No, instead he is simply saying you MUST be ready. You MUST always be ready. For you never know when he is coming.

I have been struggling with the thought of just how broken our world is. As I brought this to the Lord I was reminded of Jesus. The words “Jesus is coming” were on repeat in my head. I believe the Lord was trying to tell me “Don’t worry about the world, Jesus is coming to save.” While I was comforted that evil and brokenness would be no more, I began to realize that this went deeper than that. As I reflected on the thought of Jesus coming the question “Are you living your life like Jesus is coming?” instantly came rushing in. This question is a hard one, and if you’re anything like me your mind instantly went to all the ways in which you have been failing.

Upon reflection I realized the ways in which I have been living reflected that of this world. Unlike the scripture tells us to do in Matthew 6:25-34, I have spent too much time worrying about tomorrow, I have spent too much time worrying about what I will wear, and I spend too much time worrying about what I will eat. I spend too much time trying to meet the desires of this world and not enough time meeting the desires of my maker. But I can hear my God telling me there’s another way. I can hear him saying “Daughter it’s not too late. Come. And bring them with you.”

This world and the things of it are temporary. They will stay in this world. We weren’t created to be temporary (praise the Lord), we were created with a purpose. We were created to spend eternity with our Father in heaven, worshipping, and singing praises of his beautiful name. What a wonderful gift. Are we living our lives today with that thought?

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Romans 6:23

Jesus is coming. Are you ready?

Do you know him?

He is calling you home. He is calling you to surrender your life to him. Now is the time. He wants to spend forever with you, his child. He will not stop chasing after you but at some point, you have to choose him back. He is coming and we must make the choice to follow him into eternity before it’s too late.

Live this earthly life that you have been given for the one set before you in eternity. Live your life knowing Jesus is coming. Fix your eyes on the things that matter, the only one who matters.

“He who testifies to these things says, ‘Surely I am coming soon.’ Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!” – Revelation 22:20

Additional note:

What does it look like for you to live your life knowing Jesus is coming? What is God calling you to do today?

I challenge you to not flee from conversations or thoughts of Jesus’ return. Maybe the reason we have such a hard time with talking about it is because we don’t do it enough. It instills fear within us and makes us uncomfortable, and we as humans don’t like being uncomfortable. While we are to fear the Lord, we aren’t supposed to fear eternity. It’s the most wonderful gift we have been given, let’s start celebrating it as it is such. I pray that these hard conversations would stir up within your heart, as well as others, that the time is now. I pray the Lord would use these hard conversations as a way to bring more people to him. The only thing we have to fear is the Lord himself, “Only fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you.” – 1 Samuel 12:24

Rise and Shine

“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.

For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you. 

And nations shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising.

Lift up your eyes all around, and see; they all gather together, they come to you; your sons shall come from afar, and your daughters shall be carried on the hip.

Then you shall see and be radiant; your heart shall thrill and exult, because the abundance of the sea shall be turned to you, the wealth of the nations shall come to you.”

• Isaiah 60:1-5

“Rise and shine” I can remember hearing these words uttered from the mouth of my mother as she so graciously woke our family up in the mornings. These words would come so kindly off her tongue, but kindly they were not received by my brothers and I. I would think “rise and shine? I’m not ready to rise and if I have to, I’m definitely not going to be shining.” Unfortunately, I can’t say that my response has changed in my older age. Especially since the voice I am waking up to now has turned into a device sounding somewhat like a miniature car alarm. How is one supposed to shine after being woken up in such an annoying way? 

Anyways, this phrase for me has changed all meaning since reading this scripture. The Lord is calling his people to “arise, shine, for your light has come, and my glory has risen upon you.” You see, we are called to rise and shine—- shining the Lord's light as soon as we rise. For our light comes from the Lord. He is saying “your light has come”. In other words, “I am here, I have come. My spirit is within you and my glory upon you. Go spread my light.” Sounds simple right? To wake up knowing that we are given a simple task of spreading the Lord's light and glory. But, it’s not so simple. I have learned that too many things, people, places are at war for my light from the moment I rise. It’s a battle everyday to wake up and choose Jesus. Too many things desire our attention from the moment our eyes open. Before we know it, we can have gone the whole day living off temporary light sources just to be left with only a slight glimpse of what’s around us. Yeah, you may have made it through the day without stumbling, but these temporary sources don’t allow us to fully see the things in front of us. They are “temporary”. Meaning, they can only hold us up for so long before the lights burn out and darkness takes over leaving us blind. 

“For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you.” 

For me, this verse really stuck with me. For we know darkness is all around. The enemy loves to find us walking in the darkness as he can surround us unseen, unprepared. But the good news is that we have someone on our side fighting for us, bringing us his light. The light that the Lord is calling us to use is not self made, but instead comes from him. “The Lord will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you.” All you have to do is arise in the morning choosing him. Choose him knowing he is your one, true source of light. The only light that can withstand your day-to-day life. The only light that is powerful enough to never burn out. When we arise and choose to shine the Lord's light “they will gather together and come to you..”. People will be drawn into the Lord's spirit within you. His light through you will leave people wondering what is so different about you. It will leave a desire to want the light you have, turning them to the one, true source. This is what the Lord is calling us to do. To rise, choose to shine his light, and to shine it upon those around us. 

“Then you shall see and be radiant, your heart shall thrill and exult, because the abundance of the sea shall be turned to you, the wealth of the nations shall come to you.”

 I love the word radiant. It reminds me of the sun. It’s warm, it’s bright, and its rays can be felt by every soul it touches. That’s the kind of radiant I believe the Lord is calling us to be. Only then can we experience a heart that is full and satisfied. Only then can we experience abundance and wealth. Only when we rise and choose to shine the light of Jesus will we know a fullness that will never compare. 

So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to get up, rise and shine! 

What Would it Look Like to Walk in the Way of the Lord?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord? 

“For the Lord spoke thus to me with his strong hand upon me, and warned me not to walk in the way of his people, saying: “Do not call conspiracy all that this people calls conspiracy, and do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread. But the Lord of hosts, him you shall honor as holy. Let him be your fear , and let him be your dread.” - Isaiah 8:11-13

 A little bit of background on this scripture is important to understand what is being said here. Isaiah and the people of Judah were in fear of the threats that were said to come against them from the armies of Israel and Syria. These armies planned to destroy the king of Judah and to replace him with their own man. Isaiah’s prophecy stated that the armies of Israel and Syria would fail in conquering Judah but there was another army, Assyria, who would attack and conquer them. The Assyrians were trusted by Judah to help them, but instead they turned their backs and were planning on destroying them. 

In the midst of all of this fear and news that was being shared among the people, the fear of what might happen to them was running rampant. This is when God uses these words through Isaiah to remind the people of Judah not to give into the fear and conspiracies of what others are sharing. It’s easy to give into the fears and conspiracies of those around us when they appear so real. But, the appearance of something is a lot different than what’s truly under the surface. So, how are we supposed to know the difference?

We live in a time where politics seem to rule the screens, where the thoughts and opinions of others hold so much power. In a time where we don’t fully know what to believe, because one lie after another somehow equals the truth. In a time where we are judged for every little opinion we have, even more if we don’t have any. In a time where we find ourselves all lost, clinging on to someone or something as hope for our future. We are living in a time of fear. We fear what the world has come to and are in a desperate need of saving. 

I don’t know about you, but when the word politics comes up I immediately want to run for the door. This seemed to work for me in the past, but as I become older I am realizing that there is no more escaping the topic. Instead, I find myself right in the middle of these conversations praying for a way out. You see, everyone seems to have an opinion of some sort and we have to be careful that these opinions don’t become the truths that guide our life, because opinions can be easily swayed and changed. In a recent conversation I found myself drowning in the opinions of those around me. These feelings and thoughts that others were sharing were felt so strongly, that it made those listening consider agreeing with them. This is a good example of why opinions are so dangerous. Opinions, when they are not backed by truth or when the person listening does not have a firm foundation of truth on their own, can easily turn into facts. 

As previouslyI mentioned, we live in a time of fear and questioning, leaving some of us hopeless. I too can say that I have struggled feeling this way in the midst of hard conversations and not knowing what “opinions” I should have about certain things. So, I decided to seek the one who I knew held all of the answers. 

On a car ride home with the Lord, I sat and reflected on some of those hard political conversations I had been a part of earlier that day. I reflected on the opinions others had shared, wondering if I should agree with them or not. This is what the Lord warned against when he stated “not to walk in the way of this people, saying: ‘Do not call conspiracy all that this people calls conspiracy, and do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread.’ (Isaiah 8:11-12). I wondered how Jesus would have responded to the things that were shared with me. Furthermore, as a follower of Jesus, I wondered how are we to respond to these things? 

The scripture says “Do not walk in a way of this people…” I have come to realize that this is the biggest problem we must overcome because it is the hardest thing to do. We are called to be “salt to the earth” (Matthew 5:13), “the light of the world”, “a city on a hill” (Matthew 5:14). We are called to stand out for Jesus. To spread his love and his glory to those around us. We are called to “fear him” and him only shall we fear. When we live this life that we are called, we are not walking in a way of this people. We are walking in the way of the Lord. So, what would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when faced with fear?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when rejected?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when there are lies being shared about me or someone I know?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when what is being done is not right?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when the rest of my friends are doing something I don’t agree with?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when that one person is constantly left out?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when mending a broken relationship?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when not guaranteed an outcome?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when everyone is watching?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when the world may not agree?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when meeting a stranger?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when you are too tired or busy?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord for the rest of your life?

What would it look like to walk in the way of the Lord when…?

My prayer is that we would learn to respond to this world with full faith knowing that the only thing to fear is the Lord. Christ has made himself known as both our savior and our judge. Therefore, we are in no need of something or someone to save us, nor are we in a place to judge or to be judged. When faced with hard conversations, we can respond by walking in the way of the Lord knowing he would love. We must respond in truth, but always with love. 

“And he will become a sanctuary and a stone of offense and a rock of stumbling to both houses of Israel, a trap and a snare to the inhabitants of Jerusalem. And many shall stumble on it. They shall fall and be broken…” (Isaiah 14-15). 

Another Day Like All the Rest

Job 28:13

                “Man does not know its worth, and it’s not found in the land of the living.”

Another day like all the rest…

I wake up to the sun rising and a new day ahead

Snoozing the alarm for the 5th time, I get the strength to rise up and begin…

Another day like all the rest.

In a rush running from one thing to the next

Shower, brush, get dressed.  “Hurry up, you have no time left.”

I hurry out the door, realizing the drive I have ahead

I get in the car asking myself “Why couldn’t you have just gotten out of bed?”

I answer… It’s just another day like all the rest

I get to work just to sit and daydream about being anywhere else

I go through the motions hoping I blend in enough so no one will notice

Watching the clock tick by wishing time would fly

I hurry home where I will sit all alone

Another day like all the rest

Time for bed, but wait I have not checked…

My phone, how will I ever know

I scroll and scroll, suddenly my mind goes down a rabbit hole

“Maybe if I had their life I would be happier”, “What if my body looked like theirs, imagine how confident I would be.”

I tell myself “You are not enough; you are not as worthy.”

It all becomes too much, so I put it away and close my eyes on…

Another day like all the rest

I dream of having the lives I see on my screen, only to wake up feeling so empty

There goes my alarm again, as if it’s on repeat

Please, just 5 more minutes more. That’s all I’ll need

To get the strength to start…

Another day like all the rest

I’m done, I’m through

This has become something I’ve gotten too used to

I’m tired of rushing, I’m tired of not feeling my best

I don’t want anther day like all the rest

But how? How can I change it all around?

Maybe I’m too lost to be found

Forget it, It’s all too much

I guess I’ll just turn back to my crutch

Suddenly I’m met, right where I’m at

There’s a voice that says, “ If only you were to seek me as you do the world, you would find a love that can’t compare”

I cry out “Who’s there? Are you someone who cares?”

He replies “Child, I know the number of hairs on your head. I’ve always been here, you just haven’t met me yet. But, here I am and with you I will always stand.”

I reach out and grab his hand

Now I stand here weightless knowing, I’m the reason he came

He took my doubts and my shame, I know I am worthy all because of his glorious name

 I woke up to another day like all the rest…

But, only today something has changed

I no longer seek the approval in the eyes of man

Instead, I find satisfaction in who I am

The one who created me, created me for a time such as this

And, this is a day I don’t want to miss

We live in a world where comparison and envy have quickly come to rule. Where satisfaction is found in materialistic haves and have nots, but in the end is never fully reached. Our worth has become tied to whom others call us to be, might as well say goodbye to confidence and self-esteem. How did we get here, you may ask?

We have turned from the nearness of our creator. The one who created us so beautifully and wonderfully, so intentionally and purposefully. The one who had each and every one of us in mind as he paid the price for our lives. How could this be? How could we forget where we came from? How could we lose sight of whose we are while chasing after desires of an empty heart? We search and find a glimpse of satisfaction to find out it’s not enough, then we search and find another just to continually be left feeling so empty.” What will ever be enough to satisfy?” you may wonder.

Well, it’s not a what, but a who. It’s Jesus and he is waiting for you. Cry out to him! He’s here. He’s listening. The Lord will fill you with the truth of who he calls you to be. He will put to rest the lies, the feelings of comparison, the doubts. Give it all to him and he will carry it for you. Friend, the Lord is near. May you call on him. A new day is ahead where your worth does not have to be found in the land of the living. No, it can be found in Jesus. The one in whom you will find true worth and rest.

Find peace in what the Lord says to each of his children in Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[a] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

The SAME God

I love this statement that the Queen of Sheba tells Solomon. The Queen of Sheba goes to test Solomon because she doesn’t believe all the works and wisdom that had been given to him from the Lord. The Queen of Sheba is left speechless and in awe of the ways Solomon had been using his gifts from the Lord in order to spread his glory. 

God made Solomon (a person like you and me) king over his chosen people… how cool. God trusted Solomon with his most prized possession on earth. I’m in awe of the way God chooses each and every one of us for a specific purpose to work for his good.

What is God making you king over today? In what ways is he asking you to step out and spread his glorious name? Is there something you feel like He is calling you to do that you have been fighting? Or maybe you are questioning your purpose entirely. 

Whatever you may be walking through today, just remember that we serve the same God. The same God who blessed Solomon with the gift of wisdom and leadership is the same God who is blessing your life everyday. The same God that called Solomon to be king over his people is the same God that is calling YOU to lead people to him. Step out in faith today knowing that the Lord has prepared you and made you for this moment. 

How much less am I?

“Behold, heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain you, how much less the house that I have built!” 2 Chronicles 6:18

How much less am I than the heavens that cannot contain you Lord?

They are filled with your majesty and wonder

The highest place so holy that the earth may never understand

A land where shouts of worship and praise of your glorious name may be heard all day

A place one will finally breathe true peace having all they will ever need

Yet, you search the earth in order that I would one day call this place home

But Lord, how much less am I?

How much less? You ask 

Child, if only you knew how much more you are

How much less are the trees? The birds?

Even the flowers that bloom in the spring, than your beautiful name?

How much less are the stars that paint the night sky than who you are to I

How much less is the sun as it rises and sets morning and night compared to your radiant light?

Your question of how much less breaks my heart more than you know,

For you are so much more than this world you now call home 

Child, if only you knew…

You are my most prized possession

You are the one I seek after, regardless of your transgressions

I wait for the day when you will allow me to hold you in my arms, where you will finally feel free

I desire to know you and for you to know me

There has always been a place for you here as my love will always remain

Can you hear me? I have been calling your name 

Come home my child and then you will know…

 How much more you are and that you have never been alone

Falling Into You

1 Chronicles 21:13

“Then David said to Gad “I am in great distress. Let me fall into the hand of the Lord, for his mercy is very great, but do not let me fall into the hand of man.”

What a statement. David was in such distress and in his most stressful moment he turned to the Lord and not to flesh. Maybe David knew that the only thing that could save him was the Lord. Maybe he knew that turning to man would never be enough for him. I wish I had the faith of David at this moment. 

Why is it so hard to seek God when we need him the most? I don’t know about you, but personally I want a quick fix when I’m in distress. I can find myself turning to people around me or even turning to social media to see what other people who have been in my situation would do. Even worse, I tell myself “They are strong Christians, let me see what they did to fix this.” I could spend hours and hours on end researching how to solve my problem just to find myself never satisfied. As humans we reach out to and cling to anything or anyone who offers a quick fix because that’s what this generation is all about. We’re the “that’s inconvenient, I want a quick fix” type of people because that’s what we have grown to believe from this evolving world around us. But. where has this gotten us? Living life constantly searching for the next thing to fill us up…. Until it doesn’t anymore.

This is what David is trying to save us from. David knew that he was in a dark moment and he needed something bigger than a quick fix. He needed the one true savior who would heal him and provide him ultimate peace from his distress. He needed his father to hold him and to not let go. He needed Jesus. We, like David, need the Lord especially in times of distress. 

These quick fixes have got to go. Nothing will ever fill us up like the love of Jesus. His mercy and grace is enough to save you from even your darkest moments. Not only will he save you, but he will make you new. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 corinthians 5:17) It’s never too late to turn to God and ask for help. He is the one true healer and the only one that will ever be enough. 

I’m falling

Falling so quickly 

I can see everything around me crumbling down with me

I wonder how I can be so low but still have room to go lower

How did I get here?

Was it the weight I was carrying all alone?

I knew that extra load was going to drag me down, but I wasn’t prepared for this. 

Was it the lack of time?

Busyness never did suit me well.

Was it all the distractions I faced?

One thing to the next and before I knew it I started my descent.

Maybe if I reach out someone will grab on and pull me up.

Just an extra hand is all I need. 

I wonder, could they bear the weight of all the things I carry with me?

A small voice creeps in “They will have their own weight, surely yours will be too much.”

Just a quick fix, a moment of help is all I’ll need.

The small voice replies “But will it satisfy thee?”.

I can feel myself getting closer to the bottom.

The worry of how I will get back up seems to have brought me lower. 

I cry out “Who will save me?”.

Suddenly a hand reaches out.

I desperately grab on, thinking, “there’s no way, you’re simply too late.”

My doubt turned to faith when he called out my name. 

He told me he came for me and that I was saved in his name. 

With tear-filled eyes I asked him “Why me?”.

He replied “Child I have always loved thee.”

My feet became sturdy, as I began to stand in his mercy

Now, I stand strong looking at a life made new all because of you. 

God, Where Are You?

Psalm 77

4 “You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak.”

8 “Has his steadfast love forever ceased?” “Are his promises at an end for all time?”

9 “Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?”

             Wow. Just wow. As you read these words, I’m sure a lot of feelings crept over your mind. How can the writer be so troubled that he begins doubting the Lord in these ways? How can he use these presumptuous assumptions against the almighty God? Most importantly… How did he get to this place of emotional turmoil?

             As hard as this scripture can be to read, I have found that it might even be harder to write about. Why is this, you may ask? Well for the same reason I found myself wanting to skim over these verses in my Bible is the same reason I find myself wanting to put my pen down and close my journal… I can relate to the writer. These negative, doubting thoughts that question God’s goodness are thoughts that have, unfortunately, crossed my mind at one point too.

             Now I’m going to ask you to be vulnerable, but the good news is that the only person you have to share with is yourself, and the Lord of course. Have you ever experienced something that has made you relate to the writer? Something terrible, tragic, something you never saw coming, or maybe something that was happening right in front of you the whole time, but you lost all control before you could stop it? The writer describes his experience as being “so troubled I cannot speak.” I’m sure, if you’re still reading this, you’ve felt this way at some point in your life. Something happened that made you question it all. You began doubting the Lord and wondering where he was. Wondering if he still considers you his precious child. Wondering if he’s still there, or if he ever was. I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone and there has never been a time that he has left your side.

             I know me telling you that doesn’t solve your problems or quiet your questioning mind, but it does give you a sense of comfort knowing those eerie, unwanted thoughts don’t just camp out in your brain. Although this scripture has called out the most vulnerable parts of me, it also comforts those parts of me. Check out the way the writer starts out the chapter. Verse 1 states “I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me.” Wow. So, we know the writer is a believer and he is still having these thoughts, again you’re not alone. But this does lead to my next point.

             Sometimes as believers we put on this façade that everything is okay, and we put this unnecessary pressure on ourselves to live a perfect life without any struggle. But we are lying to ourselves, Jesus even tells us: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33). So why do we feel like we can’t have these thoughts, let alone share them with others? I have an idea of why this is, but let’s see if you can relate.

             When struggle comes it leads us to doubting. Doubting ourselves and then doubting God. First of all, to doubt ourselves means admitting that somewhere we could be wrong, and who likes to do that? Then comes doubting the Lord… and that is something we fear even more than doubting ourselves. In the midst of this doubting, we are made to feel alone. We don’t share our struggles with others for fear of, you name it. Then when we doubt the Lord, we can feel like he is no longer on our side because how could our God do something that hurts us? Well, he wouldn’t. His heart breaks right alongside us. Insert the enemy. The enemy loves this because not only does he want to make you doubt God, he makes you feel alone and doubt yourself in the process… what a manipulative schemer.

             Time to move on to my favorite part of this chapter. Verses 11-14 “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples.” 

This response is everything. During his struggling, he doesn’t decide to let the enemy win, no, he praises the Lord’s goodness and faithfulness. He sets his mind on the Lord and gives him the power back. You see, you have a choice to make. When the enemy comes, and he will, he will bring struggle and loneliness along with him. This will look different to everyone, but his plan is the same, to destroy your relationship with God. You can choose to struggle alone, or you can choose to let the Lord take your struggles and have victory. I know this is a lot easier said than done but trust me we aren’t meant to fight our battles alone. You have a protector, and he is always there, call on him because he WILL hear you.

             “I cry aloud to God, aloud to God and he will hear me. In the day of trouble I seek the Lord” (Psalm 77:1-2). He WILL hear you. He DOES hear YOU. How cool that of all the 8 billion voices in the world he hears YOURS. He seeks YOU out and hears YOUR cries. He finds YOU where YOU are and wants to listen. He desires to know YOU. Lay YOUR burdens down and cry out to the one who WILL listen and is always near to YOU.

Searching for the Greatest… But Are They It?

2 Kings 2:9 

When they had crossed, Elijah said to Elisha, “Ask what I shall do for you, before I am taken from you.” And Elisha said, “Please let there be a double portion of your spirit on me.” 

The greatest. Who is the greatest? Or, maybe I need to reword it to sound more “hip” who is the “GOAT”?  When you hear that question as an athlete, I’m sure many names come to mind, such as: Jordan, Messi, Babe Ruth, Michael Phelps, Muhammad Ali, Usain Bolt, Bo Jackson, the list goes on and on. In the back of your mind, you might be wondering why someone’s name wasn’t listed or even having the James vs Jordan debate. Either way, the question remains... “Who is the greatest?” 

We all have a favorite player or even someone we admire for the athlete they are and the skills they possess. You see, as humans we do a lot of searching for someone or something to put value in. These people we value turn into more than athletes to us and we start to see them as a role model we want to be more like.  Before we know it, we start modeling our style of play after theirs, our looks and dress may start to resemble theirs, and we might even like them so much that we wish we could be them. If we aren’t careful, our identity can quickly become placed in a person who we don’t really know. Think back to the person you would call the greatest of all time. What character traits do they have? If their skills were taken away, would you still value them as a person?  

2 Kings 2:9 talks about Elijah and Elisha. Elijah was a mighty prophet of God. He did miraculous things for the people of Israel, turning them away from evil and back to God. Elijah had a faith and obedience to the Lord that was admirable. He worked miracles in God’s name, and he was passionate about the Lord which translated into everything he did. Elisha was also a mighty prophet of God and was known as a successor to Elijah. Elisha would follow Elijah around, being an eyewitness to his miraculous works. Before Elijah ascends to heaven he asks Elisha, “Ask what I shall do for you, before I am taken from you.” And Elisha said, “Please let there be a double portion of your spirit on me.” (2 Kings 2:9).  

Imagine being Elijah and hearing Elisha’s response. To have someone want your spirit poured onto them. Is this what we want from the athletes we admire when we say we wish we were them? Imagine if your wish were to come true. You wake up one day and you are your favorite athlete. Would you be satisfied with yourself? Would you like who you are? Chances are we don’t know the answers to those questions and if we do, we may not want to say. Maybe we should start searching to find role models like Elijah.  

Elijah was a man to be admired. A man after the Lord’s heart. He lived a life obedient to the Lord and that was enough for Elisha to admire. It was his character that made him admirable, not his fame and status in society. The reason he was GREAT was because the Lord called him that and that was enough for him. Elisha knew this about Elijah and that’s where his adoration for Elijah came. The Lord knew what he was doing with this relationship and his goal was to prepare Elisha to continue Elijah’s work.  

As an athlete you have an opportunity. As you know, you are in the spotlight with your sport. You are placed on a pedestal where a lot of eyes are on you. You have the opportunity to truly be one of the greatest in all aspects of your life. Being the greatest at what you do isn’t enough because what happens when what you do disappears? Do you have the characteristics of someone to still be great? 

The Lord has a purpose in placing you where you are. Whether your realm of influence is big or small, God wants to use you right where you are. Take a step of faith and lean into what the Lord is calling you to do. He has gotten you this far, maybe without you even knowing that He has been working all this time. Be the greatest athlete you can be but do it differently so that it wouldn’t be your greatness that shines through, but it would be the Lord’s. Imagine what the Lord could do if you surrendered your work to Him (Proverbs 16:3).  

Whose Voice is the Loudest?

Have you ever felt like you are in a game of tug of war? Constantly pulling and being pulled. You are given a team to work alongside, however it feels like you are working alone. You may pull one time and you feel as if you have superhuman strength, but then the next pull you don’t even get a budge . The physical  game of push and pull happens the whole time while you have another game in your mind where you are worried or anxious that your side will end up losing control. But were you ever fully in control in the first place?

As an athlete you have a lot on your plate that can go unnoticed by the people around you, even yourself. You are constantly being pulled in all directions based on an array of involvements outside of your sport. You have family, friends, school, homework, clubs, the list goes on and on. There are so many things on a daily basis that desire most, if not all, of your attention. So, what happens when we let these things around us have too strong of a pull against us? 

As athletes we tend to seek the approval of those around us. We want our coach to think we are worthy players who can do no wrong. What happens when your coach doesn’t agree with your perception of yourself? Or if your mistake while competing makes them scream and yell while saying the worst things about you to you. Now all you hear is that coach's voice over and over again as you continue to play. It’s as if their opinion of you matters so much that you end up losing sight of what you thought about yourself.

Approval seeking doesn’t stop here. Instead, it extends to what our peers think of us as well. As athletes we have such a big commitment to our sport that our teammates often are called friends. We focus on cultivating friendships within our team, over friendships outside our sport.  We do so due to the shared understanding of the commitment and dedicated effort that our sport demands.  It’s natural for athletes to have concerns that our “outside” friends can’t provide the same support that our teammates do. Friends and social time can pull us into them wanting more from us. They may want more time from us or they may want us to partake in that bad decision. Either way it becomes a game of tug of war pulling us into something we know is bad for us. Furthermore, what if we care too much about what our peers think about us? “ Will they talk about my performance at school tomorrow?”  What if how they perceive us starts to impact our performance? We can get pulled in by the idea of fame or other people's opinions of us. This can lead us to no longer know who we are, or if we do know, it’s not words that come from us. 

What about the pressure of school or clubs? All that work that goes on outside of your sport ( yes I’m talking about that little bit of free time that you feel like you have). You are pulled by homework and maintaining good enough grades to continue playing your sport. You may be in a club where you are trying to give that little extra that you have to make a difference or add something extra to your resume. There’s so much commitment pulling hard on your rope and you may even feel like you are beginning to lose grip.

All of these things are calling your name and they pull you closer and closer past the line to the wrong side. If you don’t have a strong enough grip, a sturdy enough stance, or that little bit of drive to hold you down then you might just slip and lose all control. So where does this control come from you might ask? 

Well, if we look back on all of these things that could be pulling at you, they have one thing in common…. they all lead to instability. Relying on instability to hold you up simply won’t do. One thing could give out, making you fall quickly to your knees. We must build ourselves up on a firm foundation where we know who we are. So that even when we feel like when our strength runs out, we know we have someone we can rely on for more. 

Whose voice needs to be the loudest so we may pull back and have victory? The Lord's voice needs to be louder than any of the things surrounding you. He needs to be able to have the strongest pull on you so that you can hear him when he’s speaking. He needs to be the one opinion that matters most, so that when you are filled with lies or when you feel like your sport is becoming your identity you are filled with the truth of what he says about you. He needs to be so loud so that when you are fighting the temptations of this world you may pull back harder and walk away victorious. His voice needs to be so loud that you may hear him in the midst of feeling pressure, feeling overwhelmed, or feeling like you can’t handle it all. His voice needs to be the loudest so that you may be the athlete, even more the person, that he has called you to be through your sport. If his pull is the strongest you will be victorious in your battle in more ways than one.

So how do I make his voice the loudest? Fill yourself up with scripture. Start by reading what the Lord says about his children. (Psalm 139:14, Psalm 18:32, Isaiah 43:1, Joshua 1:9, Esther 4:14, Isaiah 30:21, John 14:27) Speak these things over yourself so that you may withstand the lies and opinions that people may have about you. Find out how to glorify him through your sport and ways that you can bring him alongside you while competing so that you may always know your purpose no matter what your performance or others may say. Surrender your burdens and your load to him and free yourself from the baggage that you are carrying ( 1 Peter 5:7). Trust that he can and he will do a work in you and that he has a plan greater than you could have ever imagined (Jeremiah 29:11). Build a foundation on the Lord so that when the pull comes you may pull back stronger and harder because where there’s you, there are two.